The bar party is a pretty big deal. It's a fancy party and we don't go to many parties so it's a good occasion to get dressed up and eat fancy food. The past 2 years it seems have been especially hard for me. Last year we gave a ride to the attorney who worked for Brian at the time and they were making fun of the way some attorney they work with dresses and the attorney said something like, "she never wears heels!" and I'm sitting in the front seat with my flats on. I watched every person at the party and even the old people were wearing heels, I was like the only one there in flats. I felt really out of place and I'm already out of place. All the attorneys are so young and beautiful and wear these fancy dresses and I'm panicking a few weeks before hoping Lane Bryant puts out something that won't make me look like I'm wearing a sack. I've been overweight for years I don't know why this has hit me so hard the last couple of years, maybe I gained a little more weight and it pushed me into a new place where I just don't feel pretty anymore, I don't know.
I didn't buy a dress this year, I'm still thinking about it for our party. I have a slew of dresses in my closet but most of them don't fit me. But some do. My Non-Scale-Victory dress in there, I wore it a few years ago (2012 to be exact), I was stunned I found an emerald green satin dress in my size. The person who worked our party took a photo of us and I remember looking at the photo and thinking I didn't feel that fat in the dress but I looked bigger than I felt. I cropped the photo so only half of my body shows and it's one of my favorite photos. But then last year I wanted to wear that dress again and it wouldn't zip up. It was really frustrating.
I tried the dress on this year before the party and it didn't look like it would zip so I wore last year's dress. When I got home though, for kicks I tried it on again and asked Brian to try to zip it to see how far I had to go and he was able to zip it. So that was good. But it's like bittersweet because I know I still look very overweight in the dress. But it's a NSV, I wanted it to fit and it does!
Anyway back to the party. We originally were going to have brunch on Saturday and I'd already be out like 700 calories. So I decided to make breakfast saving a ton of calories. Then at the movie theater I brought this little togo container that holds 2 cups and I filled it with popcorn and that's all I had for popcorn (and a little Gheradelli square). It was brilliant!!!! I'm going to do that every week and I'll be able to eat dinner on Saturday! It's so exciting to solve a problem like that.
So dinner (the party) comes and I have about 500-700 calories left. I passed on most of the appetizers but I did have a mini crabcake and a bite of Brian's ham biscuit (oh, southerners). Later the main dining room opened up and I passed on the pasta station and went for the seafood and had about 6 slices of Ahi tuna and a Oysters Rockerfeller (I found out later these have 20 calories a piece, I would have had more than 1) and a smallish serving of pecan crusted salmon and a mini chicken and waffle (very mini, like 2 bites). Later we shared a tiny chocolate mousse. I added it all up later and it was about 625 calories. The next morning I had lost weight! The biggest eating event (besides Thanksgiving) and I lost weight! I was really proud of myself. I could eat that night but I didn't go crazy.
I'm finding Instagram to be such a big help for me. I can't tell you how long I wanted to go on a diet but I couldn't figure out how to eat. Every time I post a photo I think to myself, that will help me later when I need help and can't remember on how to do this. It's so funny because I'm doing it right now and thinking I'm helping myself later.
This was not the year to feel pretty but I wore heels as painful as they were (my feet went numb a couple of times) and I ate correctly.
A photo to remind me next year. ;-) This was taken after the party and my hair had fallen and my heels are off (god, I hate heels!).
Oh, and yesterday I weighed in and have lost over 10% of my starting weight. This is a big deal guys! Doctors tell you to lose 10% for health reasons. My health was/is fine but it's an important milestone and another thing to check off the list. I want to lose about 40% of my starting weight so I'm like 1/4 of the way there!