More Bodily Fluid Talk Because It’s A “Bathroom” Blog Afterall

Did you know when you use the ovulation predictor kits the directions tell you to reduce your liquid intake and have a 4 hour section of no bathroom visits (and not to do it first thing in the morning because that would be cheating) and test at the same time every day? Four hour forced no bathroom time. It’s difficult enough to remember to use the bathroom at 2 pm and stop using the bathroom until I can get home to test. It was 2:20 today when I panicked and realize, I have to use the bathroom now. Must go now!!! It’s amazing I can do any of this.

I thought for sure I had posted about my drug testing experience at work but I can’t find the post. See at one point at my old job it was bought by another company and that company had a drug testing policy. So we all took turns in pairs going to the Medical Place to pee into a cup to be tested for drugs. I have my vices but drugs are not one of them. The older I get the less interested I even am in drugs and even when I was young it was a fear/curiosity thing and anything that scares me I will not try without long talks or certain bribery. I’m saddened to say that but it stopped my addictive personality from getting a hold of something it would surely love.

So there’s no problem with drug testing right?

I couldn’t do it. I cannot pee on command. It’s horrible. I sat in the bathroom with my little cup and you can’t even run the water to help you and I think it was mostly that someone had to be able to hear you pee. I can’t do that. I can’t even pee in a bathroom that has one stall and a waiting area. One stall where you are alone is okay but if there’s a sink area where people line up and wait I’m a wreck. There’s actually a restaurant in town that I know I cannot pee in. Sometimes I try and get to the door and someone else walks in to queue and decide against it.

So I’m sitting there and sitting there and finally the nurse says through the door, “Would you like some water?”

I sat out in the lobby drinking cup after cup of water from the water cooler. It was a lot of water. People were staring. Finally I felt like I could pee. Also you have to fill the cup up to a certain level and that was a lot of pressure. I think I barely made it. The ride back to work we had to stop 2 times so I could use the bathroom and I peed most of the rest of the day. Awful, awful experience.

I can’t take the pregnancy/ovulation test holding the strip in my stream because you have to do it for 5 seconds. Too much pressure. I use the Dixie cup method instead and it makes it way easier.

And it feels good to use the tests. I had a faint pink line, which is no go, and matches my other symptoms. My temperature has gone up a little both days and all 3 days I’ve been testing I’ve had to get up at 6 am to shoo a kitty and/or use the bathroom. I try to do it very calmly and half asleeply as possible and gently fall back to sleep but I think I’m supposed to get 3 hours or so of uninterrupted sleep. Maybe I should change my temp time to 6 but then I’m sure I’ll stop getting up naturally at 6. Or maybe since all conditions are the same it will still show the variance I’m looking for, who knows. That’s the great thing about starting midmonth is by next month I’ll have all the kinks worked out.